After lunch I came back here, got the car and picked the kids up at 3:30. We went to Herndon to Chestnut Grove Cemetery. I wanted to see if Aiden and Sky would like to pick up flowers, “Flowers Down!” like Nora and Tyler do. And they do.
We talked about how everything dies, even people we love but, they always remain in our hearts. We can come to this stone, in this place and remember them in a special way.
Vases that had fallen we set right. Stray flowers that didn’t seem to belong to anyone we’d place at a stone of someone who had no remembrances. We’d talked about the people’s names. There were many Elizabeth’s and Katherine’s, but not Theresa’s Katherine. A funny last name was Honeychuck. We decided we liked Rossi better for a last name.
We found a white teddy bear, as big as Nick, and sat him back on Joshua’s headstone. He was only two. We think he had two fun years hugging and loving everyone and everyone hugging and loving him.
Most of the stones, we discovered, were squares and rectangles and several of them were heart shaped. Sky liked those the best.
Some had secret compartments with pictures inside. The ones with lambs we knew were children. Some had no dates, so we knew those were people who hadn’t died yet, but they will one day.
There was a mighty hill waiting for someone to roll down. When Aiden shrieked as he rolled 100 mph he scared 6 deer in the woods nearby. They came galloping past us like a cattle stampede in a movie.
A nearby dog in a fenced in back yard was barking at us so Sky barked back and scared him. He turned around and ran home.
We straightened statues that had toppled over and righted American flags. Every time we did that they would say the pledge with their hands over their hearts. We were a very patriotic crew, just ask the man from WWII named Frank.
We decided that the people who died were looking down from heaven. They were very happy that we were visiting them. Everyone once in while Aiden and Sky would ask me to read he name of whose stone it belonged to.
For some reason Sky loved a nondescript stone with the name Ella on it. She traced the carved letters with her finger and said, “Ella, I don’t know you and I sorry you died. I hope you had a happy time. I love you.” She kissed the stone, patted the top of it and skipped away.
I got tears in my eyes and I looked at the wisps of clouds in the sky and said in my mind, “Ella, I know you are smiling this very minute.”
Aiden was concerned about a woman whose stone had several lines saying she had “eminent kindness and love and was consumed in fire, that took her life in her 27th year.”
What happened to her? Was she in a car? A house? Why didn’t anyone call 911? Aiden had so many questions.
I told him it was a mystery. Her family would know and remember.
“Sky, don’t worry,” he said compassionately and draped his arm over his sister’s shoulders, ”I won’t let you ever die in a fire. I’d call 911. Ok?”
“Thanks, Aiden.” They ran off to find more downed flowers.
Aiden found a picture of a young man who had a bottle of beer tucked into his flower arrangement. “I guess his friend brought him a drink.” Well, maybe.
The favorite stone was shaped like a motorcycle with an inviting seat carved in it. They both took turns in the drivers seat. Don’t you know some biker dude in Harley Heaven is cracking up watching them.
We had so many lessons in the graveyard from math and reading to kindness and compassion.
Aiden carried a large pink silk lily that he found for a long time. I reminded him to find a stone to leave it at. He insisted that he wanted to take it home to give to mommy. I reminded him that we don’t take things that don’t belong to us. Well, he explained, he loved his mommy and wanted her to have it because she was a good mommy.
What if we found a stone that said “MOTHER?” Maybe that mother was a good mommy, too. Would he leave it for her? (I think he was banking on the fact that we wouldn’t find such a stone, so he agreed.) I found a FATHER stone and suggested there might be a MOTHER stone nearby, and there was. He placed the lily tenderly on the “th” of “mother.”
I asked if he wanted to say anything. He thought for a minute and said, “I hope you were a good mother, too.”
He looked to me for approval. I smiled and I said, looking again to the sky, "Aiden you are making so many mothers smile in heaven right now it’s too many to count." He shrugged his shoulders and headed off to the car with a hop and skip in his step.
I love cemeteries. I love teaching my grandchildren are not afraid of them and honor he past.
I see Aiden maturing and understanding and being able to rationalize accepting an answer of “no” when he understands the reasoning. I see Sky’s compassion and sweetness in her gentle touch and voice. What good, good children they are and what lovely people they are growing into.
Meghan jogged down to meet us at Chick-Fil-A for dinner. We were all starving and ate everything. There was even room for Dairy Queen for dessert. Sky pooped there, finally, and now she was even a more happy camper.
Miss Marcy had Nick ready for bed so we played with him for a while, put him down, got ready for bed ourselves, had a nice long story and everyone was sound asleep by 8:33PM.
I watched a movie, had some tea and slept soundly myself.
-- Nana Beth
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